i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
