i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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