tell your sister to shave her snatch
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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