An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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