As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
