you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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