You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
