when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
