We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
