when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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