How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
