Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
