So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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