Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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