just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
