I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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