Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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