margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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