I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
