i barfeds in our rink
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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