ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
