Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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