I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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