I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize