a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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