Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize