the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
