My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
