Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
