yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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