If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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