...so i touched it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
