she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
