How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I had to cum in my sink.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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