Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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