Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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