I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
