ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
