this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize