She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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