Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
