Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
