This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
