I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
