with your own penis?
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
