I looked at my own cervix.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
