I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
