party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
