I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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