Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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