She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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