I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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