I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize