I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
