I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
