maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
