one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
