we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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