We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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