hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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