if i died would you start the facebook group?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
