i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
