Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
