Welp...herpes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
