Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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