The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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